This dream is a very old one. In fact, this is the oldest dream I can remember. I first dreamt this one when I was about 6 years old, and I dreamt it many times until I got 10 years old. It is a nightmare, and involves a monster who kept on yelling “LAWYERRRRrrr!!!”. The whole thing is now extremely funny to me, because of the absurdity involved with a monster yelling lawyer, but it is also the dream that started the whole ” dream conditioning “. After telling my grandmother about this dream that kept on haunting me for countless nights, she told me that if I would concentrate and figure out that this was a dream, I could control the universe of the dream, and beat the monster to a pulp. My first lucid dreaming experience came with that advice. The fact that I dreamt the following multiple times allowed me to remember many details. It has also allowed me to practice lucid dreaming skills.

I am lying in the mud. I’m all wet and dirty. I am in a dense, very warm jungle. I have a hard time standing up because of all the mud. While walking through the mud, I come upon a large frog. Large is a small word to say the least. The frog is about the size of a bull. It talks to me:

 ” Beware Rusty! I sense the monster is coming, you must run away! ”

And then the frog’s eyes just explode and the frog dies. Behind the dead body now stands the monster. It is about seven feet tall. Its hair is red, blood red, and its skin is green, just like the hulk. There is some sort of invisible guy, a narrator, depicting the scene. This narrator will often come back in other nightmares, which is very fascinating to me. The voice is always very loud, dark and ghostly. It explains that the monster was made out of pure evil and would do everything in its power to eat me. I start running to the left. I finally get out of the jungle after some time and I find myself in some sort of desert. There is a tent, however, and I come near it. The whole scenery is highly Egyptian, Mesopotamian. There is plenty of strange things on a table. I would later recognize some objects as talismans, amulets and native nightmare-catchers ( another very fascinating fact about that dream ). There is an old woman there, all covered in multiple layers of clothes. A lot of colors can be seen on her clothes, but most are pale colors. She tells me that I must leave at once, because the monster is chasing me. I can hear it screaming ” LAWYER LAWYER “.

 The whole ” lawyer ” screaming thing is very strange to say the least. Maybe it was screaming ” liar ” but then, when you dream, there is one thing that is usually not there and it’s confusion of words. In dreams, even if you do not understand something clearly, you will always KNOW what was said. Another similar phenomenon are tasks that you must accomplish in dreams. Sometimes, you might not even know why, but you will just HAVE to do something specific in a dream, even if you don’t have all the information. And you’re 100% sure that it is the thing to do. Enough said, let’s continue with the lawyer monster.

I start running away, of course. There are some pyramids here and there. I start running ( yeah, running, not climbing ) on the pyramids, thinking that the monster might not be able to follow me. Mistake, big mistake! I can hear it coming very quickly! During all that time, I never look behind. The sight of the monster is too frightening to me. So I run down the pyramid, and I end up in a forest. I enter the forest. I can hear the monster breathing down my neck. Suddenly, I fall, and I start sliding down and I end up in a mud pit. MUD!? Yes my friends, this is not only my first nightmare experience, it is also my first repeating dream experience. The frog is there again. It warns me, and then it dies in the exact same way it did before! A strong feeling of despair hits me.

 This version of the dream occurred many, many many times. It would repeat itself at least once every time I’d have it. At some point I talked about it to my grandmother, as I said earlier. The next dream was subsequently different because I started discovering lucid dreaming.

 The whole frog, old Egyptian woman and pyramids episode remained the same the first time. Then, I started realizing that I was dreaming, and that the whole repeating process was not going to happen again. At the edge of the forest that would lead me back to the frog, I turned back and decided to face the monster. To my surprise, it came from behind me, as if the monster came out of the forest. It took me by surprise and I got really scared. In fact, I got scared enough that I woke up. It took some time before I fell asleep again. Then, the dream started again. I was in the mud, all dirty and the frog was talking to me. Then it died, and the lawyer monster came out from behind the frog. I stood up and faced the monster, lucid dreaming was there again. I became very angry and I punched him. At first, the monster took some steps back, but then it grew stronger and my punches could not do anything. I then decided to do something completely crazy: Chew a giant bumble gum and imprison the monster in it. Which I did. I created a bubble gum and I started chewing it. The monster seemed to be frozen ( perhaps because I was concentrating my dream on the gum ). Then, I had a bubble about 10 feet square huge. I got the rest out of my mouth and sealed the hole, and then I threw the bubble at the monster and he immediately got ” eaten alive by the blob bubble gum “. Stupid ending? Of course! But it worked! And that’s what counts in dreams. Stupidity and out of the ordinary ideas is often the key to success in lucid dreaming. The lawyer monster never scared me again. I dreamt about it on some other occasions, but every time I would find some new, imaginative way of putting it down. Finally, I guess the monster got tired of getting his ass kicked by bubble gum, and I never dreamt about him again.


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